We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams

Damn lunchtime. Everything was fine until people started heating up their food in the lunchroom. Hmm... maybe I'll have to start leaving the office rather than typing this at my computer. This morning was just fine. I woke up before the alarm went off and started prepping my sea water - er - sea salt water... I guess it's the same thing lol. I saw cookies and bagels and the whole shabang and was even able to hold a conversation hovering right over them... but now, smells of pasta tomato sauce intrude my nostrils. People walking by my office snacking on a cookie here, a sandwich there. You really have no idea how much you eat until you take it all away.

That said, today is actually a little easier than yesterday. Though I still am craving cheeseburgers, I know I can get through the day. If I can quit cigarettes, I can quit solid food.

So, I've decided to try my hand at the master cleanse. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a diet where instead of eating food, you consume a concoction (sp?) made up of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water. In addition to that, every night you take an herbal laxative, and every morning you do a salt water "flush"...

Today is day 1 and I plan to go for 10 days. I'll blog about my experiences here for the next week and a half to let you know how I'm doing. If anyone is even reading this thing. If anything, this will act as an outlet for all of my extra energy - due either from frustration, or the weird diet that I'm on.

OK, so my journey began last night. Since it was my last day to eat or drink whatever I wanted, I decided to indulge- not necessarily the way you're supposed to start this sort of thing, but whatever. We went to In and Out and I had a delicious cheeseburger (oh crap, mouth is salivating just typing this... must... continue...) along with a soda and strawberry shake. It's worth noting that I rarely drink soda these days and I cut out coffee from my diet quite a while ago, so the soda was a real treat. After dinner, I decided to spark up the hookah (since I also won't be doing that for the next 10 days) and sip on a fine glass of Chivas Regal. After indulging in all my vices, it was time to take the herbal laxative, which never really hit me. I simply laid in bed and fell asleep.

This morning, I woke up and mentally prepared myself for the salt water cleanse. I knew it wouldn't be easy as I've read this was the worst part for most people. The recipe: 2 teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt to 4 cups of lukewarm water. That's right, 4 cups! It wasn't easy. I had to hold back my gag reflex several times, but after probably 5 or 6 chugging sessions, I got it down.

I waited.

They say, it's supposed to hit you anywhere from a few minutes to two hours after you drink. This is the part of my story I wish I could tell you it was the worst BM I've ever experienced, but honestly, I can't. I'm not sure if I had the recipe wrong or what, but it took over an hour along with me rubbing my abdomen and almost forcing myself to go for it to happen. I'm not going to lie, I've had better, but judging from what I've read I had a pretty mild experience. We'll see. Maybe tomorrow will be better... or worse (depending on how you look at it.)

Let's skip ahead to the juice. After "going" all I could go, I prepared my juice for the day. Half a lemon squeezed gives about 2 tablespoons of juice. That, mixed with 2 tablespoons of organic maple syrup (grade B), 1/10 teaspoon of cayenne pepper (good luck figuring that measurement out), and 8 oz. of water gave me my "meal". I downed the juice as breakfast and began making 3 more servings for my time I'd spend at work today. Important tip: if you're pre-mixing your juice, only mix the maple syrup and lemon juice and add the other ingredients when you're ready to drink it. This does something with the electrolytes and vitamins and shit in the lemons to keep it more fresh.

So fast forward to now. It's 3:06 in the afternoon and I've drank 3/4 of my alotted serving for the day. Sidenote: I did the math wrong and put 3 servings of stuff into 4 servingsworth of water... so it's a little diluted. I've been drinking plenty of water all day on top of the juice since I read that most times when you think you're hungry, you're actually thirsty but your body has a tough time telling the difference. The juice actually keeps me pretty full, but after 31 years of eating actual food, it's tough not to think about it in its absence. And boy let me tell you, in my office there is food. Everywhere. Part of it has to do with the fact that I'm food deprived. Part of it has to do with the fact that it's Christmas time. And I'm sure part of it has to do with the fact that... well... let's just say there is always junk food in my office. I walk around the office and I see M&M's, leftover pasta from yesterday's luncheon, candy bars, bagels, pretzels, and more candy. On top of that, during the lunch hour there are all these smells that fill the office. Mind you, I sit right outside of the breakroom/kitchen. Thoughts and flashes of sushi, pizza, carl's jr., curry, and anything else delicious I can imagine just pop into my head every once in a while.

I see everyone eating all the time.

But this just makes me stronger. And then again, this is just the beginning. Tomorrow should be a real challenge.

The weirdest part is I'm in a surprisingly good mood. The morning started off hectic and I was irritable, but actually as the day progressed, I've gotten to feel better. My pants, which fit just right this morning, are actually a little looser now (which sucks a little, cause I just bought these pants to fit my fat ass.) Anyway, I've started this thing, now I just have to finish it.